February 8, 2016

Dying

Auntie Sue is dying. Mom said that the rehab people treated her awfully, trying to force her out because insurance won't pay for dying people in rehab. She hopefully will be transferred to hospice today. She doesn't know Mom is her sister, she thinks she's their mother and calls her "Mom." I have been handling it well, until this morning when I sent a note to the boys letting them know and asking to call their Gma to just say hi. Then I broke down and started crying and I cannot seem to stop.

February 3, 2016

Wednesday

Yesterday was a pretty average day, but BB and her mom invited us to see Labyrinth at Sun-Ray Cinema last night. I saw it the first time on the big screen with my mom (on vacation while visiting her in 1986) so it felt pretty appropo to see it with my daughter. We had a great time. I love that theater.

Petunia's guidance sessions have been moved to Wednesdays, so it's a lot easier on us now.

February 1, 2016

Monday

Saturday - Woke up at our usual early time and got ready. Drove down to Julington Creek area and went to Mrs. Mulligan's, a consignment shop that was holding a $1 sale. It was packed, but Petunia and I waded in and grabbed her a couple of pairs of jeans, two shirts and a jacket for $1 each. Went inside and found a pair of practically new boots and a fab UK London jacket (brand new) for very cheap.

Came home and cleaned up two porch chairs. Dropped Petunia off at BB's house for a birthday party and overnight stay with the porch chairs. Came home. Discovered at dinner time that our stove's oven isn't heating properly anymore. Luckily, our dinner was small so I could finish it in the toaster oven. We watched a couple of Netflix movies before bedtime.

Sunday - Sharky went to the boat but there was no wind, so they didn't go sailing. I ran to Winn-Dixie for groceries. Didn't pick Petunia up until about 4 pm. Had poached chicken and Caesar salad for dinner.

Monday - Spoke to mom this morning. Auntie Sue is in a nursing home and will not come back to live in her apartment. She has Stage 5 leukemia and is refusing treatment. I told mom that we will work on getting me down there and renting a truck to bring back furniture, etc. A friend of Sue's came down this weekend and took Chipper (Sue's dog) to live with her. Mom and sDad really liked Chipper but he is a one-dog family and even though he got along with their dog, Chloe, he was too rough, possessive and borderline jealous at times. Too much for them to handle.

January 30, 2016

Day 27: Make Your Own Mantra

Day 27: Make Your Own Mantra

“Timid thoughts, do not be afraid of me.
I am a poet.”
—  Rabindranath Tagore

1. Choose an adjective (timid, boring, fearful, lazy, judgmental, critical, hazy, happy, elated, angry, sad, violent, stormy, beautiful, serene….): Happy

2. (Your adjective here) + the word: thoughts / feelings / ideas / plans: Feelings

3. Do / do not be (circle one) + (a feeling word, like: afraid, intimidated, confused, surprised, thrilled, amazed, frustrated, delighted): do inspire

4. I am + (choose your preferred or cosmic job description: poet, artist, goddess, healer, author, magician…): I am an artist.

5. Finally, mix and match ideas from the above four categories and see what you get for a mantra today: Happy feelings, do inspire me. I am an artist.

January 29, 2016

Friday Coffee


Today we went to Community Loaves in Murray Hill for the first time, although I've been a fan of their bread for a while (buying it at RAM). Such a beautiful day, we sat in the garden behind the shop. I had a french press coffee (delicious) and Petunia had the licorice/nettle/peppermint tea (really interesting). The brownie was great, a happy medium between cakey and fudgey. I will admit, it was hard to sit in the garden behind the kitchen - such heavenly smells!

Friday

Sharky's coworker quit last week, but is working this last week, so he asked if I could come up with an idea to do something for the co-worker. I honestly couldn't think of anything, so I suggested donuts. Sharky loved the idea. LOL After Sharky left, I got dressed and swung by Krispy Kreme and used one of my special member coupons from their app to buy one box of regular priced donuts and get a second box of original for free. Dropped them off at work. Sharky was like a little kid. LOL

Afterwards, I went to Volde-mart (it was nearby) to get medical supplies and allergy pills for Petunia. Picked up a fresh pizza for dinner and grabbed a fruit tray for her to bring to BB's birthday party tomorrow.

Today is coffee day and I have a place already picked out for Petunia and I. Yeah!

The roofers are back next door but thankfully Tony has decided not to bother with them. One of them parks right in front of our house, and Tony feels obligated to bark at him when he goes to his truck, but other than that, it's been quiet. (Except for the roofing noise. Sigh.)

Day 26: Focus On What Excites You

Day 26: Focus On What Excites You

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
— Oprah Winfrey

I am so excited… when I make something for someone.

I’m passionate about… my art, my creative spirit.

I am energized by… the completion of something that I love.

Today when doubt, fear or anxiety arises, I’m going to chose to focus on… the positive.

January 28, 2016

Day 25: Dare To Be Powerful

Day 25: Dare To Be Powerful


“When I dare to be powerful—to use my strength in service of my vision—then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
Audre Lorde

The creative vision I have for myself… is to be able to create beautiful things.

I can be more powerful in these ways… by organizing my life.

My strengths are… my dreams.

My strengths serve my vision by… showing me what I can do.

I used to be afraid of… failure.

Thursday

Had chili cheese dogs for dinner last night. Really good, considering I used canned chili (Wolf brand). lol Have leftovers for lunch. Yeah me!

Right after Sharky left for work this morning, all hell broke loose next door with a bunch of foriegners (I cannot identify the language) all shouting (aka loud talking) and inserting the word "fuck" every third word. Turns out, the roof is being replaced next door. I peeked through the bathroom window and saw stuff just flying off the roof. I'm not concerned about garbage, most roofers clean up their waste, but I am worried about something flying through a window. Houses here in Riverside are just so close together.

Tony is going bonkers. I had to physically hold him in my lap and calm him down. I hope its not going to get any worse. I honestly cannot spend all day calming down a hysterical dog. I gave him a benadryl because I couldn't find his xanax, and shut the front door. That sucks because it's already overcast and dark and shutting the front door just makes it worse. He can still hear them and has been running from the couch to the window to yell at them. This isn't just "go away" barking, this is full out hackles raised, growling barking. He's trying to protect me.

Oh, Tuesday afternoon, Tony managed to squeeze out the driveway gate fence and chase something. Petunia caught him before he got too far (only made it two houses away). He can no longer be taken out without a leash until Sharky can fix the situation. His plan is to run a lead from the back door to the tree. Cheapest solution for now. Replacing the fencing is out of our budget at the moment.

January 27, 2016

Wednesday

Auntie Sue was moved out of the hospital and into a care facility that is practically behind the apartment complex they live in. Mom is hoping she'll qualify for home health nursing to take the pressure off of Mom and sDad in caring for Auntie.

Not much is going on around here. Petunia's counselor has moved her appointments from Monday evenings to Wednesday afternoons. So much easier on all of us.

Today is Early Release and I asked her not to have any after school projects because she has chores at home (like the cat box) she has fallen behind with because she's being a social butterfly.

Day 24: Is Your Life Shrinking or Expanding?

Day 24: Is Your Life Shrinking or Expanding?

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
— Ana├»s Nin

What makes my world larger… is reading and dreaming. Actually doing the dream is even better.

What makes my world smaller… listening to all the self-doubts.

My life is bigger today, because I dared to… take chances.

January 26, 2016

Day 23: Accessing Your Genius

Day 23: Accessing Your Genius

Genius is talent set on fire by courage.”
— Henry Van Dyke
I’ve been nurturing this spark of an idea… of being completely organized.

I think it could become… a reality if I could accomplish it.

It would be bold to… just do it.

If I got really audacious, it would be daring to… do it now. LOL

January 25, 2016

Monday

Auntie Sue is still hanging in there. She had the chest drainage tube removed on Saturday, and from everyone says, that's one of the worst things ever. I'll call mom later today, since she spends most mornings at the hospital. Sue has been moved to the unit that is a step down from ICU, so that's a good sign.

Friday - No school today. The weather was horrible, overcast, dark, rainy, cold, etc. Petunia and I went to Michael's in OP. I picked up a small stack of canvases and we found gifts for MG's birthday and for BB's next week. (Got both little marquee initials with lights, for $5, originally $10.) Petunia also found the Gund Grumpy Cat (Tardar Sauce) for $9.99 (also on sale). Couldn't find the coffee shop we wanted to go to, so went to Publix and grabbed the little schiccacia pizzas for lunch. MG's mom picked her up at 3:30.

Sharky and I went to the tax guy immediately after work and got all that over with. Grabbed lunch at the new place, Nacho Taco (take out only down the block) and had a really good dinner.

Saturday - Sharky ran to DW's house and helped with some errands. Instead of coming home, Petunia went over to BB's house (MB picked them up) and spent the night there.

I decided against the canvas project and grabbed as much of my jewelry stash as possible. After lunch. I picked up Dunkin Donuts (Krispy Kreme was packed) and went over to TB's house for a "Random Art Day." I had a wonderful time and she helped me finally finish my necklace. I saw AJ (Rupert & Rosie's former mom) and met a bunch of new people. TB is going to make it a monthly event and said that Petunia is more than welcome to come next month. Got home at 6 pm and we had wings from 5 Star Pizza in Murray Hill.

Sunday - I ran to Winn-Dixie early in the morning and did the grocery shopping. After lunch, we picked up Petunia at 3 pm. The rest of the day, we were all vegetables. LOL

Day 22: Love the Moment (Right Now)

Day 22: Love the Moment (Right Now)

Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.”
— Corita Kent
 
Right now(describe where you are, and what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch) I am sitting on the couch, listening to Pandora, typing on my keyboard. It's extremely cold in the house right now, so I cannot smell much of anything and the last thing I tasted was my diet ginger ale. I can hear Tony snoring as he's curled up in a tiny ball next to me.

Right now(describe how you are feeling) I am feeling cold, with a few butterflies in my stomach for reasons unknown. I might have to go to the bathroom (coffee of course).

Right now (what are you thinking?) Emotionally, I'm doing very good right now. Bug told me this morning how much TBoo loves talking to me and that she knows that we really love and care for all of them. I cannot express in words how good that makes me feel.

Reflect… how much time do I spend in the present, versus the past or the future? I need to spend much more time in the present. I try hard not to be in the past, but I cannot stop thinking of the future. I know I will be happier if I just stay in the now.

January 24, 2016

Day 21: Finding Your Higher Purpose

Day 21: Finding Your Higher Purpose

You must set forth and find the center of your interest. You are a creator, but you must find your interest and then dedicate yourself to that interest—not to the act of creativity. Merely to want to create will make it impossible for you to do so. You must find an interest greater than yourself—a love, perhaps—and then the power to create will set you on fire.”
― Pearl S. Buck


I am most interested in… becoming more of an art oriented person.

I am curious about… what I can do artistically.

I could devote myself to exploring… different art forms.

I always lose track of time when I… get creating, I can totally zone out and just be in the moment.