Felt good to feel young again

I had a lovely time on Sunday with BH & CH, but spending yesterday with just CH was eye opening. Hanging around my children always makes me feel old and tired, but spending time with CH made me feel so "young and sprightly". LOL He's not quite 24 and sometimes it's obvious because while he acts worldly and cultured, I'll say something that just goes right over his head (like a reference to pre-90s music, etc. lol) and I realize what an age gap there is (19 yrs).

I got such a kick out of something so silly. While we were in the sushi restaurant, the waitress (a young and pretty lady) kept batting her eyes at CH (seriously, there was some major flutterage going on) and flashing her pearly whites. I pointed it out to him and he looked slightly bashful (so cute lol) and I asked him what she must think of the two of us. He didn't say anything, so I said, "Well, she either thinks that you are a nice boy taking his mom out to eat..." which made him LOL "...or she's wondering how many cougars are living in Riverside..." which totally made him crack up. (I told Sharky about this and he thought it was hilarious.)

At first, I thought the feelings I have for CH might be what some call "a girl crush" (I'm not concerned with sexual attraction, I'm happily married and he's gay and in a committed relationship) but then when I realized how old he is, it dawned on me that he is the same age that my first child would have been had he/she had lived. Maybe, just maybe, that had occurred to me subconsciously? Who knows. *shrugs* I do not plan on telling him, mainly because that is just something I don't normally talk about to other people, not to mention it might make him feel rather uncomfortable.

Can I be a proper elder? Can I be a teacher? Frankly the idea of that scares me silly. But I do love the idea of someone actually wanting me to share things I have learned with them. It feels so good to know that there really is someone who appreciates what little knowledge I have and thinks they might be able to benefit a little bit from it. He is extremely intelligent and soaks up information like a sponge - he spent a lot of time asking me questions about the Craft on Sunday and it was very enlightening to talk to him about it. I'm looking forward to this as possible spiritual growth for myself.

Oh well, all I really am sure of is that he's a lot of fun to be around and I really like him as a person. Sharky does know all about it and he's glad I have a friend like this.

Only time will tell...